Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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