Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
