I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
