Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
