where am i from again
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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