CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
