Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
