Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
