she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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