I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
