ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Why is your signature on my underwear?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
