I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
