Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
