You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
