I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
