I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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