i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize