Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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