escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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