Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Do vagina's smell?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
