oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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