just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
