My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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