Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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