I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
