If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
How's work?
Spinning.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
