if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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