it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
