If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
