By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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