Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
