If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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