So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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