At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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