New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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