the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
