and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
