We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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