I want to make a zoo with you.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
