Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
