but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
