Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
