So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
