Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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