i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
