I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
His nipple licking is glorious
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