u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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