He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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