big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
