how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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