Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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